Random.
Study week....
Now I'm already in the exam week with absolutely no exam mood.
What's happening to me nowadays? It really do seem like I had lost myself and will to study. I do not know what more should I do. Okay, since today I just finished my first exam, it really doesn't matter much to me. Being sad about not knowing how to do is just too stupid of me. What more can I do? What's done is done. No use crying over a spilt milk unless you work hard to milk another cow. Just a minor rambling today my dear bloggie...sometimes it really does seem like I have alot of friends and yet I didn't. Perhaps for them after reading this post, they might have this feeling, "ah, this guys is all emo again, guess I should approach him and say, Hey! everything is fine, don't worry, we don't think of you like that." Well, I thank you for still having time to look at this post, somehow at least you still thought of me.... And yet again today, I felt sarcasm everywhere...I don't know~ maybe it's their way of expressing themselves but somehow, that little cynical smile is what hurts me. Yeah I know you are brilliant, you are smart, you are popular....but is there a need to act so? No wonder you got what you deserve, in my opinion. It's funny how human interact with each other, the more educated they are, the more complicated it is to understand them and to read their mind.
I have got to be thankful to the little bunch of friends that I still have, who are willing to sit down and listen to my narrow-hearted complains, but that's all I could do. Otherwise I would have gone crazy.
I'm also thankful for her being with me all the time. Oh yeah, let me tell you something. There is this thing which i really hate the most when it comes to being in a relationship. I really do hate people going around you, forgetting about you when going for outing with one petty reason/excuse; Aiya, you got gf d ma....no need us acc u wan la rite? we oso dowan kacau u both sweet sweet ma.... Eh, hello? Who are you to me? You are my friends right? To me everyone is of equivalent importance to me. Therefore I really hate people who label me as a person who forgets their friend for his own girlfriend. Maybe you don't mean it, I don't know.....
Enough complaining I guess? Back to mugging. Till then my bloggie~
I'm also thankful for her being with me all the time. Oh yeah, let me tell you something. There is this thing which i really hate the most when it comes to being in a relationship. I really do hate people going around you, forgetting about you when going for outing with one petty reason/excuse; Aiya, you got gf d ma....no need us acc u wan la rite? we oso dowan kacau u both sweet sweet ma.... Eh, hello? Who are you to me? You are my friends right? To me everyone is of equivalent importance to me. Therefore I really hate people who label me as a person who forgets their friend for his own girlfriend. Maybe you don't mean it, I don't know.....
Enough complaining I guess? Back to mugging. Till then my bloggie~
Confessions of Disappointment :'(
Its been really long since i ever remember i visited here.
So why now? I guess its just the built up tension from everywhere.
So I take this post is for me to release my tension?
Or is it just another confession I'm not able to make verbally?
Frankly speaking,
I find it very hard to breathe whenever I'm with them,
Its just so complicated, I just don't know where I should start.
Well, I remembered in a not so distant past, when we're all so innocent and laugh and talk and do things together, whenever, wherever and whatever we want....
Now,
Things seems very complicated,
I sometimes do feel ostracized if you guys even ever notice at all,
Its always you guys who are feeling happy, laughing off nonsensical jokes,
Ask me if I even tried to join in with you guys?
I do, I seriously do!
What i get in return is just another hard to breathe situation,
the longer we converse, the harder it is for me to continue in the conversation.
So, in order for you guys to be happy as you all are, I back off.
Did you all ever notice at all? I doubt so.
You guys,
maybe you all might think i have changed,
but do you know, what you all might thought about me,
Is exactly the mirror image of my feelings now, perhaps worse.
Who should i turn to now? Well i'm not the only one as I know.
This friend of mine has already long had this feeling ever since i couldn't even remember.
Today,
Just one question from the Dr. you guys hate the most,
Slapped you guys hard on the face rite?
Or maybe not since you guys don't feel that you're in the wrong at all!
Sometimes, what you think is ok to you, doesn't mean it's ok to others,
As the saying goes, one man's meat is another man's poison.
You might not realised with your comment you've hurt my feelings.
Yes I'm busy with assignments, I'm tired,
So is it so wrong for me to express myself?
Don't compare me with you guys,
I don't mention, doesn't mean that I need to or is it a necessity for me to tell you I'm very busy and stuffs,
Things that I'm busy with, you know nothing and you just go around spitting whatever that comes to your mind.
Yes! I'm pissed! And angry indeed cause after all this you can just simply brush it off as if it doesn't even matter to me. If you guys are stranger to me, I would have already exclaimed "FUCK YOU!"
I told my friend that he should just take it easy and just let it be.
Seems like I'm the one that couldn't make it huh?
Everyday is a learning process,
Well, I learn how to manage my emotions day come day,
After a good night's sleep, I can still laugh and smile at you,
But the wound inside will not heal.
For you have hurt me deeply.
Perhaps its the expectation I have in you guys,
making me feel what i'm feeling now.
Let's just stop right here ok?
I wouldn't want to go any further now.
Till then.
THOMAS~
She cried~
and he could do nothing~
hearing her sobbing,
my heart turns sour,
he couldn't help but feel sad himself...
he just couldn't comfort her.
She cried,
All because of him,
always thinking of himself,
ignoring the position and situation,
she's been going thru~
He could do nothing,
he just couldn't....
but feel sad for her....
Sometimes he thinks of himself
as a failure
for not noticing such small details,
where others could,
All because of his carelessness,
She cried~
8/2/2010
Had a very tiring nite yday~
never before i rush my lab report like siao~
after back from sunway, go to kkm, then go foyer tot yizi they all wana practice dance, then back to room~
haha^^ go kkm find tze siong very hard lo....din bring my phone cos no battery d. so when reach KKm, i was literally like knocking every door, asking where tze siong is, cos he's my saviour for lending me his report to refer to, since he's my lab partner.
So went back to my room and took a bathe before starting to rush my "reference" of the lab report^^
Took medicine for my sore throat before starting(thx ^.~)
Did the report till 2am before planning to take a short nap(planned 1hr nap) as your's truly is coughing non-stop plus the drooping eyes. din sleep on the bed cos afraid might oversleep so end up sleep at the living room~ never expected that once i open back my eyes, my handphone screen showed me 6am=.=
Was freaking out since he missed the alarm as well=.= quick quick went to the toilet to wash his face then continue to rush his report~ thank god i made it arr~ tonite wan sleep kao kao d^^
Mood- COaster...
Had quite a roller coaster today,
The mood that is,
From a plain morning,
To a refreshing afternoon,
To an angry evening,
Full of pek-chek-ness,
To a blissful night.
The moment it skipped,
Not only once but twice,
Its so unimaginable~
Was it really an imagination,
Or was it a hint....
I don't know what to do~
Should I continue being like this~
Or should I move on?
jumpy,
thomas
Tears~
It skipped,
It did again,
The dreaded feeling of my shrinking heart,
Familiar feeling that I can't forget,
I hate it~
Every time she surfaces in the midst of my thoughts,
Every time I wanted to suppress that feeling,
It hurts so much,
Being ignorant of her presence~
Will it be okay,
after a good night's sleep?
Will it be okay,
after I wake up from the dream?
Of me being in love,
With who I am not supposed to be...
Tears welling up with blood rushing all about,
Dilemma felt was never this great,
Trying hard to keep the tears in,
With the heart keep on aching~
I doubt anyone would understand,
For no one would ever care,
How I would feel in this place,
Where any choice would hurt,
Hurt so much,
That I would be crying without tears~
A "Better" New Look.
Fuh~ took me hours to tweak this page although the instructions are already there..seems I'm not that good in programming and stuffs eh? But with this new look I hope you peeps would enjoy this page more:)
yours truly,
thomas
New look
A little bland though cos' the previous template that i used had some problem with it~
So a new look for a change:)
Stay tuned peeps^^
ciao~
~Reminisce
Do you still remember the day,
When we used to gaze at the clear sky,
Seeing the clouds,
Changing with our wild imagination.
When we used to watch the night,
Counting billions and billions of stars,
When you used to lie on me,
Close to my heart,
Listening to my heartbeat,
As if it were yours.
Now that I think of it,
Everything seems so vague,
I can barely remember,
Perhaps some might think this is just a fake.
Now that you are gone,
I can hardly grasp,
The image of you turning,
Away from what you are not satisfied with.
I am lost,
My life,
My soul,
My everything,
Seems so distant.
And here I'm still waiting,
For the day you would turn,
For this time it will be back to me,
Come back to me.
Seems like it doesn't even matter,
A day, a month, a year, a decade,
I will be waiting,
Yes, I will be waiting,
For I know that one day will come,
The day,
When we could finally lay down,
On our back,
Once again, gazing the wide sky....
I miss you.
yours,
thomas
Brand new experience^^
Today i experienced a whole new thing after almost a year in UNi. Today is the first time i ever cook myself rice with sardine as lunch^^. thx to waynee lor~ cos he supply me with the rice and sardine~ he so good leh, last time he give me maggi, this time give me rice. Very lucky to have a friend like him:) I might sound gay here but I'll treasure him as my friend:)
thx wayne wai~
~thomas~
Had been at the library for almost 4 hours d~
yeah, its raining again.
Again i'm multitasking again,
Listening to music, reading organic chem, writing blog, facebook-ing, MouseHunt-ing, downloading shows and songs~
Crazy eh~ somehow i wonder how i can cope with these things...haha heaven sent maybe?
Yeah talking about heaven, there was this guys just now while i was having my lunch at the bakery,
came to me talking about wat fellowship in UKM. He asked whether i mind if he sits down. Of course being a good guy I am, i let him go ahead with what he was doing.
Then he started to intro about Christianity to me! I was like "Huh? Come on, not again?"
Yeah as you can see, I've been approached by countless Christians spreading God's love to me.
Well, I'm not trying to raise an issue here but since he's asking properly, I let him go ahead with what he wanted to preach.
Well, basically I could already figure out what he was trying to say next as i use to attend church services despite being a Buddhist^^
Then he was like asking me to become a Christian on the spot~! although with him saying "I'm not forcing you to accept Christ now, but how good will it be if you were to accept Christ", with a smiling face.
Again i want to stress i am not trying to raise an issue about Christianity yea...and i am not being racist~
Maybe this may not sound funny to the minority but i was debating with that guy. I was like asking him to prove the existence of Heaven, God, and stuffs like that, which of course the only answer i would expect will be the word "FAITH". I knew very well how he was coming about to persuade me to accept Christ. But I believe I was born a Buddhist for a reason, so I don't see the necessity of converting to a Christian.
I could say that somehow it ticks me off since I don't like being persuaded. Yeah, it annoys me. I would rather be a free thinker....which reminds me, he also asked me about my believe in God as the Almighty creator, thus denying the Law of Evolution stated by Charles Darwin. I said "I am a scientist, I believe in science as well as the existence of God." This question reminds me of "Angels & Demons" where the Vaticans fight against the Illuminati in the question of God vs Science.
this will be very long-winded if i were to continue any further. So i shall stop here. Till next time peeps~
Its been long since it rains,
So cooling and yet so refreshing,
It washes your sorrow, your anger,
And whatever that makes you sad away.
Its so peaceful after it rains,
Listening to the birds,
Glancing at the scenic view,
From my dorm room.
Of course its lonely to be living alone,
Ah, what am i saying?
Of course it lonely,
Even so, the peaceful breeze of the after-rain,
Sooths my hectic soul~
Again i glance out of my window,
Seeing the wet tarmac,
Covered by droplets of crystal clear water,
So tiny, yet so pure.
Humans are like that,
Reminds me when i was small,
So tiny, yet so pure,
Laid back with my limbs all on the floor.
~~random ramblings~~
Thomas' 100 Rules of Life
100 RULES OF LIFE BY THOMAS
2. Always aim to the top no matter where you go. "Aim for the stars, at least you get the coconut"
3. Sing with your heart. Emotion and feelings are important when you sing.
4. A hungry man is an angry man. Eat on time.
5. Never save on food. But don't overspend as well.
6. Treat others the way you want to be treated by them.
7. Never forget to smile:) The world smiles to you when you smile to them.
8. Love yourself.
9. Love your parents, siblings, relatives and your friends.
10. Never despise yourself. You are what you think you are.
11. Believe in God.
12. Be confident. You are the BEST!
13. Always give 100% for the things you are doing.
14. Don't do it if you feel like doing it half-heartedly.
15. Think before you speak.
16. Don't think you are alone. I am always by your side.
17. Never forget to appreciate what others have give you. Thank you is always a nice phrase.
18. Never be afraid to apologize if you have done wrong.
19. Dare to face your mistakes and take up the responsibilities for the consequences of your own actions.
20. Never run away from your responsibilities.
21. Think twice, maybe thrice, before making a decision.
22. A man speaks only once and never repeats himself for the second time.(courtesy, DAD)
23. Respond to the person who's talking to you. It is rude to ignore their existence.
24. Never despise others. Everyone has their own value of existence.
25. Never be to high of yourself for a certain achievement. There are many more people who's better than you are.
26. Never be afraid to speak your mind. You are the voice of the world and the society.
27. Treasure your friends. They help you alot when you need them.
28. Believe your parents. They are never wrong.
29. Be faithful to everyone. Believe in them. Refer to rule #6
30.
more to come^^
After watching WGM, I am awed by the 100 Rules of Life by JoKwon's fans.
Therefore i also feel like making myself a set of 100 Rules of Life(Thomas' Version)
It will be in the next post. I will slowly add it up to 100 as i only have a few right now.
Kkap Kwon Ga-In "We Got Married" ADAM couple
I'm so loving this WGM couple~ tak boleh tahan with their antiques la! I suggest you guys watch it at youtube through this user: 2odsubs2
Reli nice:)
Gong Xi Gong Xi Gong Xi NI~~
Yay~ tmr Chinese New Year d lo.
Tmr going back Kedah, my dad's home town^^
Take Ang POw~ yeah^^V
but besides all this i haven't reli finish my lab report plus my revisions for midsem lor~
and now i'm wondering how shouldi go about it :P
mid sem coming~ what should i do? are the preps enough? how come i feel like i still did not grasp the essence of "studying" yet?
saa~ ganbarimasho ka~
I'm wondering whether I should accept the offer by Amy 姐 to join BSMM Induk. I feel its a rather tempting offer as I had always love to be on administrative positions. Furthermore, with the conflict I had with my detachment mates (here i mean the seniors), I felt it's hard for me to serve the detachment. But, if I were to accept the offer it means my days will be kinda busy d. Can I really cope with it? Cos' I don't want to jeopardise my studies like I did in the previous semester.
What can I do?
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