So why now? I guess its just the built up tension from everywhere.

So I take this post is for me to release my tension?

Or is it just another confession I'm not able to make verbally?

Frankly speaking,

I find it very hard to breathe whenever I'm with them,

Its just so complicated, I just don't know where I should start.

Well, I remembered in a not so distant past, when we're all so innocent and laugh and talk and do things together, whenever, wherever and whatever we want....

Now,

Things seems very complicated,

I sometimes do feel ostracized if you guys even ever notice at all,

Its always you guys who are feeling happy, laughing off nonsensical jokes,

Ask me if I even tried to join in with you guys?

I do, I seriously do!

What i get in return is just another hard to breathe situation,

the longer we converse, the harder it is for me to continue in the conversation.

So, in order for you guys to be happy as you all are, I back off.

Did you all ever notice at all? I doubt so.

You guys,

maybe you all might think i have changed,

but do you know, what you all might thought about me,

Is exactly the mirror image of my feelings now, perhaps worse.

Who should i turn to now? Well i'm not the only one as I know.

This friend of mine has already long had this feeling ever since i couldn't even remember.

Today,

Just one question from the Dr. you guys hate the most,

Slapped you guys hard on the face rite?

Or maybe not since you guys don't feel that you're in the wrong at all!

Sometimes, what you think is ok to you, doesn't mean it's ok to others,

As the saying goes, one man's meat is another man's poison.

You might not realised with your comment you've hurt my feelings.

Yes I'm busy with assignments, I'm tired,

So is it so wrong for me to express myself?

Don't compare me with you guys,

I don't mention, doesn't mean that I need to or is it a necessity for me to tell you I'm very busy and stuffs,

Things that I'm busy with, you know nothing and you just go around spitting whatever that comes to your mind.

Yes! I'm pissed! And angry indeed cause after all this you can just simply brush it off as if it doesn't even matter to me. If you guys are stranger to me, I would have already exclaimed "FUCK YOU!"

I told my friend that he should just take it easy and just let it be.

Seems like I'm the one that couldn't make it huh?

Everyday is a learning process,

Well, I learn how to manage my emotions day come day,

After a good night's sleep, I can still laugh and smile at you,

But the wound inside will not heal.

For you have hurt me deeply.

Perhaps its the expectation I have in you guys,

making me feel what i'm feeling now.

Let's just stop right here ok?

I wouldn't want to go any further now.

Till then.